the answer to this feelings

"I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time.
I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job.
It turns out it’s not that I hate to write.

I hate, simply, to work.
I just hate to work, period.
I am profoundly slothful.
Practically inert.
I have no energy.
I never have.
I just have no desire to be productive.
Now that I realize I don’t hate to write, that I just hate to work, it makes writing easier."

Fran Lebowitz


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